пятница, 30 апреля 2010 г.

A Computer Engineer’s narration of Ramayan

LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya, there ruled a PROCESSOR named DOS-rat.
Once he EXECUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM after which his queens gave an OUTPUT of four SONs -
RAM, LSIman, BUG-rat and SED-rughana.

RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent MEMORY.
His brothers, however, were only PERIPHERAL ICs. Once when RAM was only 16MB, he married princess C ta.

12years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTALL RAM as his successor.
However,Queen CIE/CAE(Kayegayee), who was once offered a boon by DOS-rat for a lifesaving HELP COMMAND,
took this opportunity at the instigation of her BIOSed maid and insisted that her son Bug-rat be INSTALLED and that RAM be CUT-N-PASTED to the forest for 14 years.
At this cruel and unexpected demand,
a SURGE passed through DOS-rat and he CRASHED like unstable version of AI MSN does in intel.

RAM agreed to LOG INTO forest and C ta insisted to LOGIN with him.
LSI-man also resolved on LOGGING IN with his brother. The forest was the dwelling of SPARCnakha,
the TRAN-SISTOR of RAW-van, PROCESSOR of LAN-ka. Attracted by RAM, she proposed that he should marry her.
RAM, politely declined, perceiving C ta to be his SOURCE CODE.


he hastened to kill her but LSI-man cut her nossile PERIPHERAL.
Weeping, SPARC-nakha fled to LAN-ka, where RAW-van, moved by TRAN-SISTOR s plight,
approached his uncle MAR-icha. MAR-icha REPROGRAMED himself to form a golden stag and drew RAM deep into the forest.
Finally, RAM shot the deer, which, with his last breath, cried out for LSI-man in voice of RAM s SOUND CARD. Fooled by this VIRTUAL RAM SOUND,
C ta urged LSI-man to his brother said. Catching the opportunity,
RAW-van DELINKED C ta from her LIBRARY and changed her ROOT DIRECTORY to LAN-ka.


RAM and LSI-man started SEARCHING for the missing C ta all over the forest.
They made friendship with the forest SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR Akshat sorry… SU-greev and his powerful
co-processor Ha-NEUMAN .
who agreed to help RAM.
SU-greev ordered his PROGRAMMERS to use powerful SEARCH techniques learnt in GOOGLE to FIND the missing C ta.
His PROGRAMMERS SEARCHED all around the INTER-NETworked forests.
Many tried to EXCITE the birds and animals not to forget the WEBCRAWLERS (Insects) and tried to INFOSEEK something about C ta.
Some of them even shouted YAA-HOO but they all ended up with NO FOUND MESSAGES Google, Lycos nothing was left untouched.
The only thing they forgot was to mail iitcse01 & get PTI s help.

Ha-NEUMAN then devised a RISCy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross the seas at an astonishing CLOCK SPEED.
Soon Ha-NEUMAN DOWNLOADED himself into LAN-ka.
Ha-NEUMAN found C ta under a brown - green (as Brahma will call it) TREE STRUCTURE Ha-NEUMAN used the LOGIN ID (ring) to identify himself to C ta.
After DECRYPTING THE KEY, C ta asked him to send STATUS_OK MESSAGE to RAM.
Meanwhile all raakshasa BUGS around C ta captured Ha-NEUMAN to DELETE him using everything including Ctrl-Alt-Del.
But Ha-NEUMAN spread chaos by spreading VIRUS Fire .
Ha-NEUMAN pressed ESCAPE from LAN-kaand & conveyed all the STATUS MESSAGES to RAM and SU-greev.
RAW-wan decided to take RAM head-on. One of the RAW-wan s SUN almost DELETED LSI-man with a Brahma -astra.
But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-Xgradients and REFORMATTED LSI-man.
RAM used the SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-wan and wiped out RAW-wan’s presence on earth.
Later, RAM got INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and spreaded his USER FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS and everyone lived happily ever after, playing & enjoying.

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